Friday, September 16, 2011

Girls will be girls or not


Ugh…school is starting!  That’s how I felt… and I felt it all over…like in my throat and all the way deep in my stomach.  I know in a few years I’ll be saying, “when do the kids go back to school?”  But this was our first year of for real school…where I wasn’t in control of our oldest child for most of the day.  Anyone else feeling this way or just me????  I felt like why should my child’s teacher get him for 7+ hours.  I carried him for 9 months and 1 week, gave labor to him, and have been with him it feels like non-stop for 5 years.  Yes, I was sad, maybe even a little depressed about it…at first.

Then after a few days alone with my other 2 children…something else was happening.  Something I didn’t expect or even imagine.  Throughout the summer, my 3 year old daughter had been driving me and everyone else in the house nutso.  I swear she managed to whine through just about every dinner driving me and my husband to the mantra, “Eat or else go to your room” every night.  We had agreed that it was the girl in her because our oldest would eat whatever we put in front of him and was the most laid back kid on the planet.

But finally with our oldest in school most of the day, we got our sweet daughter back.  Was it that we were back to a routine?  Or was it the fact that I had a little more time to spend with my daughter now that I was down to 2 children?  Or was it our littlest, almost one year, was growing up and also needing slightly less of my attention?  Or was it one of those short phases that kids go through stretching their muscles?  Probably a mix of all those to be honest…of course, then I immediately turned on the mom guilt that I hadn’t paid enough attention to her.  It took only a little bit of logic to realize that she hadn’t been scarred from life.  No matter the reason, I loved this new version of my daughter.  Now of course, she still has her moments and tantrums, but we can quickly move through those with a little discipline and go on with our day-reading library books and playing pretend.

So the moral of the story for me as a mother that day was to step back from the busyness of life and take a look at why your child might be having an issue.  As a parent, we are always busy trying to deal with the behavior and by the time the situation is dealt with you just want to move on to the other tasks at hand, i.e., laundry, baths, work, cleaning up dinner in my case.  You don’t have time to step back and think okay what’s really going on with my child and why is he behaving the way he is.  It was just a little nudge for me to wake up and live my life with my child not my to-do list.

p.s. the oldest that I worried about is fine, too...actually thriving...why do we worry?  change is good...most of the time!

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